What I do is valuable - all the more because of the stigma attached - and I don’t do it for free.įrom the expected passage of Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act to a bill in Florida declaring porn a public health risk, from the shuttering of in 2015 to the terrifying increase in transphobic violence, escorts have reason to scared.
In various capacities I teach, coach, comfort, console, and mend. The worst conversation you can start with a sex worker goes something like this: “Hey, are you getting anything out of this, or is this just work for you?” I love talking to new people, learning about them, helping them, caring for them, and offering what I can to make them feel better. We don’t give freebies to people we like. Nor, I must stress, does my friendship with them provide a reason why I shouldn’t pay them, or pay them less. I also have really good connections with my doctor and the gentleman who cuts my hair, and the fact that I pay these men to do their jobs doesn’t undermine the friendship I have with them. I want to believe that I foster good connections with my clients - along with, well, everyone in my life.
We may have an authentic connection - we may truly enjoy spending time with each other, and I hope we do - but this is work. “Connection” is a hair-raising, prickly word.
